I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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