just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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