don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
