i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
