dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
