i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
