My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Pooping to opera.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize