I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
