alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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