"it" just moved
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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