i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
