I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
