he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
