I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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