its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
