I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
