Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
