The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
