Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
