I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize