I hope my margaritas pass through security.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
