One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
