If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
