How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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