I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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