My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
