In America we eat man semen.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
