Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
birth control should be required to get into college
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
