I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
