Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
