i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
