so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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