please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
honey bunches of taint.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
