I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
