you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
