Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
