she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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