They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
now i know why i became what i already was.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
