Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
