What tipped you off? The sombrero?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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