I'm really into asian looking animals
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
