You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
