it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
