I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
