jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
