Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
