I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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