Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
