definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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