Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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