No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
