remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
