you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
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