im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
