So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
