toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
