he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
