i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
