And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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