How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize