we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
