No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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