just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize