oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
