He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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