shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
and she was petting her beer can
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
